THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
