He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
