I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
