just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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