I can't watch pbs sober anymore
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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