imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
