There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
