id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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