I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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