So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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