Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Damn victory sex feels great
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
