I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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