remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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