YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Congratulations! We have a period
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
