just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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