smell my finger.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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