okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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