Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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