Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
