My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
