We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
