Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
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