I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
smell my finger.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
