I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
