I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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