she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
