apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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