Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
