yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
