Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Screwed.edu
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I look better un-naked...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
