Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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