so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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