Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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