Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
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My penis needs a shock collar
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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