I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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