Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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