I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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