I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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