he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
