So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
