we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i think my cat just said my name.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
