South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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