so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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