shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
