I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
