I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
