My balls are so social today.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
