Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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