we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
