I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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