So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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