hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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