so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is wine microwaveable?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
