If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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