as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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