in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
