Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
