dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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