hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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