she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Let's paint friendship bongs
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
