Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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