Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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