Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
zippers are such a cool invention
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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