I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
