If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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