You're so nebulous sometimes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
