as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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