Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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