when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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