yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
